An essay, by Tristan

   An essay

      This is the beginning of my 600-word essay, which is rather self-referential and somewhat purposeless. This is the second sentence, which informs you that this is the second sentence and that, by extension, this essay is going to be quite ridiculous and silly. This is the third sentence, which is the last numbered sentence, and tells you about how pointless the numbering was getting. This is a sentence to apologize for how silly and purposelessly self this paragraph has become, and to introduce to the real purpose of this sentence, which is to tell you that this essay is about the writing of essays.

      In this paragraph, the author will tell the reader about essays. Essays are defined in various ways, one of which is as “a piece of short non-fiction writing designed for  various purposes, such as education, persuasion for certain viewpoints, or to tell people about an event”. Essays are often written by students for educational purposes, which generally starts in late elementary school and gets more advanced until college, wherein they can often  be hundreds of pages long.

      This paragraph notes that the writer, who will now address himself in the first person, has written several essays, of which this is one. The first essays written by the aforementioned “I” started during or near the fifth grade. These essays were presumably short, three paragraph items, which were probably not very good, as I had little to no experience in the writing of essays. Since that time, I have been writing essays more frequently, and hopefully with more quality then those first few essays.

      This paragraph is to tell you the reason for this essay. The purpose of this essay is hopefully to teach people more about essays, and additionally to possibly get a good grade. The topic of this essay was suggested by the author’s father, and was initially disregarded by the author, until he realized that he had no better ideas. The ideas considered by the author before his father’s suggestion included: an uneventful move, several scout camps, a description of a Saturday, and the lack of interesting events occurring within the author’s life. These ideas were disregarded by the author as not interesting enough to write an essay on or, in the case of the last one, lacking enough detail to write an entire 600-word essay about. And so, in the end, this slightly odd topic was chosen, and then it was necessary to write the essay and make it long enough to be considered an actual essay as opposed to a short paragraph. 

      This paragraph concerns the steps required in producing this essay. The author chose to start with an odd listing of sentences, with was rather different from the rest of the essay, presumably because the author considered it to be unnecessary silliness that nevertheless served as a good introduction to the slightly less random body of the essay. He then decided for his own bizarre reasons to discuss the nature of an essay, including its purposes and definition. For his third paragraph, he finally chose to notice that this was intended to be about him, and wrote about his experiences in writing essays, which started in the fourth grade. The next paragraph was about this essay in particular, starting with the purpose of this essay and ending with the essay beginning to be written. The last two paragraphs are perhaps the most self-referential, as they are both entirely about the essay that contains them. This is the fifth and last paragraph, which talks about the rest of the essay, including itself. This is my last sentence, which tells you that this is the end of the essay.